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By Tony and Dorothy Bonser

30 March

After their son died from cancer 18 months ago, Tony and Dorothy Bonser were inspired into volunteering.

When Neil died, my wife and I really felt that we wanted to make a difference for other families. So we joined the National Council for Palliative Care and the Dying Matters coalition. We were invited to St Joseph’s Hospice, Hackney for the launch of their “Living Space” project, and immediately knew we had to become involved in our local Hospice.

I take Ethel from her care home to our local Hospice every week. If I’m ever even a minute late, she tells me I’m definitely off her toy
boy list! I’m 65 and she is in her late eighties, and we thoroughly enjoy each other’s company. Dorothy takes Peter on a Thursday. He’s about the same age as Neil was, and has all the worries natural to a young man with cancer. We both thought when we started volunteering that it was just a matter of transporting people. It’s so much more than that. You very soon develop a close friendship, based on a shared understanding and a shared belief that each day is infinitely precious and valuable, and that life is for living today. You talk about things that probably neither of you would talk about to your close family.

For Dorothy each Thursday is very important – a time to share the last week’s events and to listen and just be there as a support. For me, both Ethel and the hospice give me my weekly reminder to live for the day. She is often in pain, but is always cheerful, appreciative of all that people do for her, and constantly amazed that so many people want to talk to her. She still doesn’t realise that it is because you leave her feeling better! I think she values the company of someone who shares her love of life – and her wicked sense of humour.

We both love our Hospice work. The hospice is a warm and welcoming place. Everyone has a smile on their faces, no one hurries, and it is a haven of peace and calm. Ethel comes out with a posh hair-do, gift cards she has made, and a big beam on her face. Peter leaves relaxed and refreshed. And we both feel that we’ve gained much more than we’ve given.

"You very soon develop a close friendship, based on a shared understanding and a shared belief that each day is infinitely precious and valuable"

"You talk about things that probably neither of you would talk about to your close family"

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