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Just how I came to be the author of a book about death continues to baffle me. However, looking back, a number of events put me on this course before I was conscious of what was in store for me.

Years ago I lost a dear friend to cancer. When a second friend, Kate, who was also terminally ill, asked me to be executor of her will I knew some of the issues I would have to face. Kate was single and without a family so I knew it would be down to me to oversee her last wishes which, whilst it was an honour and a privilege, brought with it huge responsibilities.

Once I realised the enormity of the task, I started to ponder on how I would not only cope, but handle matters sympathetically and appropriately when the time came. Taking care of someone’s financial estate, their funeral, and disposing of their belongings is a daunting task even for the most seasoned executor; couple this with the emotional loss of a close friend, and the task was even more daunting.

I needed to discover a way of finding out just what Kate’s wishes were. The thought of having a conversation about such things was inconceivable. I wanted, instead, to give her the time which she would need to consider her choices; I didn’t want her to feel uncomfortable or pressurised. I stumbled upon the idea of writing her a booklet, filled with questions that I needed answers to. That booklet was going to be her 'letter of wishes' - the checklist I would use as my guide when the time came.

I wrote it as sensitively as I could, explaining why I was asking such difficult questions, and how it would help me to arrange matters smoothly for her. Once she understood the approach I was initiating, she completed it.

When the sad time came and Kate passed away, the booklet came into its own. The co-executrix and I ticked off Kate’s requests, and carried out her wishes to the letter. It was not pain free, but we had the information we needed to make the right decisions regarding Kate’s funeral and the distribution of her belongings. The smooth realisation of this idea gave me some confidence. It didn’t prepare me for what was to come, however.

One year later, my mother died suddenly. I was devastated. The despair was heightened due to family difficulties and contentious fallouts. I experienced such depression that I remember thinking that, as simple as my book was, if it could stop one single family from experiencing the same angst, it would be worth devoting the time needed to publish it.

I had significant doubts; it seemed an unlikely path to take, and other than to immediate family, I did not expect to sell my book. I just wanted to help friends and family who were interested in completing a copy for their loved ones.

I set about expanding on Kate’s booklet by interviewing those within the Law Society, MENCAP, solicitors and funeral directors, in an attempt to see whether the book was a realistic proposition. They all seemed to think it was. As daunting as the project became, it took some careful consideration to ensure the book’s content was neither morose nor irreverent.

After much trepidation, Last Orders; The Essential Guide to Your Letter of Wishes, was published in April 2010. It sold out in just four months after I was interviewed on BBC R4 Woman’s Hour. It has become a bestseller in its category on Amazon – with favourable reviews from the Law Society, STEP, and Good Housekeeping, amongst others. Now, thousands of families throughout the UK will benefit from a completed Last Orders.

In spite of its relative success and its usefulness, few magazines and newspapers wish to run articles on death, so raising awareness of the book’s very existence continues to be an uphill struggle. Even attempts to contact health organisations appear to fall on stony ground.

Happily, the reviews and acceptance of the book by the law fraternity has been, for me, heart-warming and, not least, I have been profoundly moved by the letters of thanks I have received from purchasers of the book who wish to leave a tidy estate for their loved ones.

I now offer talks, and write articles from a lay perspective for a law based website, on the importance of getting one’s affairs in order. My mission is to motivate the public into leaving clear, unambiguous instructions about their final wishes by writing the all-important, but oft neglected, letter of wishes.

To find out more about Patricia's work and her book, Last Orders, visit her website: www.lastorders.org