Soul Midwives: Rethinking a Good Death

Death in the modern age can be 'clinical, institutionalised, functional and soulless'. But a programme that trains midwives for the deathbed is doing things differently. Julie Levine talked with the founder of Soul Midwives, Felicity Warner, to find out more.

These days, there seem to be more medical breakthroughs in the curing or prevention of life-threatening illnesses than ever before. Nonetheless, the human lifespan is not an everlasting one. When death is approaching, the emotional responses of the dying and their loved ones can be vast and complex, ranging from denial to fear. Felicity Warner aims to help people in this situation die peacefully, so that their last days are not spent in misery, but rather, in contentment.

About nine years ago, Warner founded an organization called the Hospice of the Heart – the first internet-based hospice – which provided advice and support about death and dying for those who needed it. During this time she developed the ‘Gentle Dying Method’, which aims to make the experience of death a personal one and, moreover, provides a kind of third-party support system; that is, calm, level-headed support from someone a little emotionally distanced from the patient. Soul Midwives, Warner’s current programme, emerged out of this. Individuals on the programme are trained to work with those who are near death, in order to help them die as peacefully as possible.

To date, Warner says there are somewhere between 90 and 100 Soul Midwives. ‘They come from all age groups—the youngest one is 29 and the oldest is 87. There are both men and women from across professions. We have a head mistress, a rock musician, teachers, nurses, doctors and more.’ What brings these individuals together in spite of differences in age and profession is their desire to provide help to those who need it. ‘People come because they have had a bereavement quite a long way back that has had an impact on their lives and they now feel strong enough to help others,’ explains Warner. ‘Others feel they have a calling for this work, usually because it relates to something else they do, like being a priest or a doctor.'

The work of the Soul Midwives varies a great deal from patient to patient, but Warner has derived many of the techniques used from healing practices outside of western society. In Shamanic and other non-western practices, one fundamental belief is that the world is cyclical, that there is a life force responsible for a shared energy between living things, and that upon death, this energy is recycled back into the world for reuse. This conceptual framework is prevalent among the Soul Midwives, who view death to be equally as important as birth, and part of a continuous cycle of life that should be celebrated.

The most prominent non-western influences are plain to see in Soul Midwives' efforts to create a sacred healing space for those who are dying. In this space they help the patient with breathing and relaxation techniques, emphasize the creativity and harmony of the world through music, poetry and colour, apply ritual oils to the body, or simply sit quietly beside them, holding their hand. It is the belief of Soul Midwives that support and compassion act as a kind of medicine for the patient—one that cannot physically be swallowed or injected into the bloodstream, but instead, can be felt emotionally.

However, these practices are far from an assimilation of new age philosophies insists Warner; rather they are more an integration of the old into today’s world. ‘It’s a kind of bringing together of old skills, keeping them up to date with a modern view of how we can deal with people who are dying,’ she says. ‘It is based on old ideas and on an attitude of compassion, love, open-heartedness, as well as a focus on the actual person who is dying.’ Becoming a soul midwife is not restricted to a select group of individuals. As Warner herself states, ‘Any person can do it if they’ve got an open heart.’

Felicity offers training courses for those interested in becoming a soul midwife; registration for these courses, as well as further information about Soul Midwives, is available at www.soulmidwives.co.uk.

“Soul Midwives view death to be equally as important as birth, and part of a continuous cycle of life that should be celebrated."

“It's a bringing together of old skills, keeping them up to date with a modern view of how we can deal with people who are dying"