Supporting You Through Life

24 March

What does it take to make it in the funeral director industry? Lorraine Shortt found out the hard way.

At the tender age of 13 I experienced my first funeral. My beloved Nana had suddenly passed away and I was overwhelmed with grief. The day of the funeral came and aside from the devastating sadness, there was something else that struck me. It was perhaps something strange to be struck by, but I was so impressed by the way the funeral directors conducted themselves. They handled themselves with dignity and exuded respect. I remember thinking at the time how dedicated they must be to do that job, and moreover, what an honour it must be to help people in such a role.

I am now almost 48 and approximately three years ago I decided to embark on the career I had always wanted to do – to be a funeral director. Little did I suspect however that it is almost impossible to break into this industry. Here, for your interest, is the process I endured.

I first of all contacted the NAFD (National Association of Funeral Directors) who sent me a range of information. I read through the bumf and immediately knew that this was the career for me. Next, I wrote to all the large companies and the local family-run businesses asking if they had any vacancies and to ask if they could offer me any further help or advice. I told them that I wanted to start at the bottom and learn everything about the industry – I told them, in other words, that I was a ready and willing subordinate. I thought that this way, we could collaboratively discover which part of the profession my skills were most suited to. I also thought that companies would always be keen to take on people who are willing to start at the bottom. I thought wrong. I only received one reply from one of the larger companies which was just to advise me that they would keep my details on file.

Slightly disheartened but still resolute, my next step was to contact the careers office who advised me to contact the larger companies again as they obviously take on more staff. Hence, I initiated a second round of correspondence. But again the only advice I received was to keep checking their website for vacancies. This has become part of my weekly routine now: I check all the funeral company websites, the job centre, and go through all the local papers for any vacancies that may come up. The problem is that there are simply not very many opportunities. At this stage, I have applied and been rejected from countless big companies. But still I remain resolved: this is the job for me.

One glaring problem I have noticed with the application system is that it is done online. This type of work takes great interpersonal skills and the ability to deal with testing emotional situations every day. How is an employer supposed to accurately gauge an applicant’s empathetic qualities through a form filled out online? This is not an "ordinary" job. Surely there is no way anybody could look at an application and decide if a person was suitable or not, without first meeting them?
 
One approach I thought of to get into the industry was to take the study route. I thought that I could maybe study to become a funeral director whilst waiting for vacancies to come along. But the old catch 22 situation rears its ugly head: you have to be employed by the funeral service before you can study! This situation really is quite paralysing.

I don’t know if it is just my opinion of a job in the funeral industry, but it must surely be seen as a vocation. I know in my heart and soul that I would be an asset to the industry. To carry out someone’s last wishes, and to guide and comfort a family through this most difficult and emotional time really would be a privilege and an honour for me. Buoyed by this feeling, I continue to research and learn from any and all sources that i can get my hands on. The best source I have discovered is the books of Barry Albin Dyer. Barry featured in the TV series "Don’t drop the coffin", and has written the definitive guides to this industry. It is his books such as Strong Shoulders which have inspired me to battle on. I just would never have thought that one would need such strong shoulders to burden the weight of disappointment in struggling to fulfil my dream.

"To carry out someone's last wishes, and to guide and comfort a family through this most difficult and emotional time really would be a privilege and an honour for me"

"How is an employer supposed to accurately guage an applicant's empathetic qualities through a form filled out online?"