Coping With Bereavement

Cruse Bereavement Care offer some advice for coping with beravement.

Cruse Bereavement Care has over 50 years’ experience of supporting bereaved adults and children and currently cares for about 100,000 people every year. Our 5,700 volunteers are experts in providing care and they know that, as every bereavement is unique, there is no set formula for dealing with grief.

Many people who are bereaved can only - in the short term - take one day at a time or live hour by hour. Based on our experience of working with those who are bereaved we have produced some tips on how someone can help themselves.

It is important that you take care of yourself following bereavement. One of the most helpful things is to talk about the person who has died and your relationship with them. Who you talk to will depend on you; it may be your family, friends, a spiritual adviser, your GP or a support organisation.

Do…..

• Talk to other people about the
person who has died, about your
memories and your feelings.
• Look after yourself. Eat properly and
try to get enough rest (even if you
can’t sleep).
• Give yourself time and permission
to grieve.
• Seek help and support if you feel
you need it. Tell people what you
need.

Don’t….

• Isolate yourself.
• Keep your emotions bottled up.
• Think you are weak for needing help.
• Feel guilty if you are struggling to
cope.
• Turn to drugs or alcohol – the relief
will only be temporary.

The way grief affects us when we are bereaved can change over time. Callers to our National Helpline, for example, may say “I was coping alright but then suddenly…” or “I thought I had dealt with that bereavement but…..” It is important to seek help if you need it – there should be no shame or financial penalty for doing so.

It is true, however, that people can often be confused about whether or not to ask for support as it can be difficult to assess whether grief is ‘normal’ or whether some additional help is needed.

There may be some particular signs that may indicate that people need extra help.

In some instances these may include some of the following:

- Sustained difficulties in sleep and eating
- Addiction to alcohol or drugs which has started after bereavement
- If the person is becoming very isolated and detached from others
- Previous emotional problems that have required psychiatric or psychological support

The way we grieve can feel overwhelming, uncontrollable and very painful. Bereavement shakes us up in so many ways. We know from our experience that it is possible to acknowledge and face the pain and find ways of beginning to cope after bereavement. Try not to bottle up your emotions and instead find someone to talk with.

If you do need to talk to someone you can call Cruse’s helpline on 0844 477 9400, email helpline@cruse.org.uk or visit the website for more information.

“as every bereavement is unique, there is no set formula for dealing with grief.”

“It is important to seek help if you need it - there should be no shame or financial penalty for doing so.”